14 Years

I say it every year, but I cannot believe how fast time is flying. 4 years. That's all I have left with this girl at home. How is it possible??? It seems like we were just barely eating breakfast in the mornings to watching Teletubbies on PBS on our old console tv, and taking naps together. Now Syd is the teenager that WANTS to take naps on her own, comes home from cheer practice and crashes on the couch, occasionally shouts how ANNOYING her family is, shows me texts she gets from boys, hogs the hot water, hates every picture of herself, begs me to go shopping practically 5 days a week, and stays up late on her phone and her ipad. She texts me and reminds me to pick up feminine products from the store, wears eyeliner, and is picky about what makeup she wears. She takes an insane amount of selfie pics and posts them on her instagram (as in the pic shown above), and gets asked for her phone number by boys when we're out to eat. She has quite the babysitting business, and buys her own clothes, gifts for other people, and pays for her own social life. Her weekends are booked with plans, which I learn about AFTER the fact, and when all the other kids are in bed she comes and flops down on my bed between Kevin & me and talks to us or watches tv with us. I act like I'm annoyed that she's on my covers, but I secretly love it, and know that it won't last long. I'll long for those nights when my girl takes off to college. I feel lucky that she tells me about what's going on with the boy sitch in her life, and I'm grateful everyday that she's a good girl. Not perfect- But I have soooo lucked out.


 Saturday marked 14 years since I started this all-defining chapter of my life called Motherhood. I was such a baby myself, and had no idea the amount of love that was about to consume my life. I remember that day so vividly, and everything went so smoothly and quickly, and before I knew it she was here...screaming her fool head off (after having Brooklyn diagnosed with acid reflux, I am fairly certain Sydney had the exact same thing). It is a fine balance to figure out how to instill and encourage in your kids the things you hope and want for them that differ from your own past, without being pushy or overbearing. I feel incredibly blessed that Syd is so goal-oriented and disciplined (she has been soooooo good about wearing her back brace every single night for the last 14 months). She has always been such a rule follower. She is a sweet and quiet gal. Although she still doesn't know what she would want to major in in college, she has always wanted to go on a mission and go to BYU. She is a much cooler and hip and less awkward 14 year old than I ever was at her age, and for that I am grateful. I will state the obvious and declare how nervous and totally apprehensive I am to think about my girl starting high school next year. It's nerve-wracking to me. So many awkward, brutal, and hurtful things can happen in high school. Rejection, dramatic friends, boyfriends, etc - all that glorious and painful stuff lies ahead. This could potentially be a pretty big year for her. I am admittedly nervous and mentally preparing myself for what may lie ahead with her back. It's a little weird - she is the exact same age I was when I had to have my own back surgery. The curve of her back spans the exact same vertebrae that mine did before my surgery: T11 - L4. Am I scared? Yeah. As of her last appointment, her curve was progressing despite wearing her brace. She goes back next month, and we see if it has increased any more.


 I absolutely love this girl more than I ever thought my heart could handle. She makes me want to throttle her some days, but the days she makes me beam with pride far outnumber the bad days. So, umm, yeah.... I just want the next 4 years to move in slow motion.